Larry's parents constantly belittled him the whole time he was growing into adulthood. Now as a full grown adult, Larry suffers from issues such as depression and anxiety. He constantly wonders why he just can't let it go and get over it.
Bitterness is an attitude of extended and intense anger and hostility. The feelings are usually accompanied by things such as resentment and the desire or need to get even. It results in not forgiving an offender and letting the hurt and anger grow until the pain of resentment takes over and produces a sour trait in the persons life.
We learn in Hebrews 12:14-15 that bitterness corrupts by it poison. We further read in Romans 12:17-19 not to seek revenge, but instead to let God deal with all the wrong.
Bitterness can be conquered only by forgiveness according to Ephesians 4:31-32. Those verses tell us to replace bitterness with forgiveness.
Here are 4 Steps to deal with Bitterness.....
1. ACCEPT
Make a list of the persons who have hurt you. Next to each name write what you needed from that person. Next, to that write how you felt when that person did not meet your need. Then, write wether you think the person will ever be able to meet your need. Finally, Accept your loss and grieve.
2. FORGIVE
Ask God to help you forgive. Forgiveness is letting go of anger and your quest for revenge. Realize that you are powerless to forgive in your own strength. Ask God to help you feel compassion for the offender.
3. BREAK THE CHAIN
Bitterness often runs in families. When a parent does not meet a child's needs, that child can become bitter and is then unable to meet their own child's needs. Ask God to help you break the chain with your generation. Remember you cannot expect a person in a wheelchair to run a marathon, so do not expect people who are emotionally troubled to meet your needs. You will only be let down. Pray for them and support them instead.
4. LOOK ELSEWHERE
Find somewhere else to get your needs met. Be proactive and look for those whom God has put in your path to meet your needs and at the same time look to whom you have the ability to meet their needs as well.
All in all look for a way to break the chain that has you defeated and live the best life you can with good relationships.
That is the way of a disciple!
May God Bless you and keep you!
Fr. John Mozingo
Fr. John Mozingo is the Rector of Holy Cross Anglican Church in Winterville, NC.